The End of Innocence
by Snitch-1996
Summary: The war was dangerous, brutal, muderous and left many empty, broken shells. Hermione Granger is stuggling with the grief that she keeps locked away. Everyone esle seemed to be moving on, have they? How wll a certain blond haired, silver eyes save her from destroying herself from the inside out? Draco/Hermione.
1. Chapter 1

**The End of Innocence. **

**Chapter 1. **

She was a shell of herself: a body full of working organs, blood circling around the course, held up by hundreds of bones fusing together surrounded by pale skin decorated with scars. So many scars which will never heal. But that's all she was, the fire which was once there in her soul was long extinguished, the adrenalin running through her veins had ran out, the happiness now none existent, the laughter now forgotten, all hope drained away with the brutality of the war.

That's how she got this way, a year of fighting for good, fighting for the light had done this too her. So many people had been lost all due to a war created by one single man. A man with a strong opinion on who should be accepted or not. He was powerful but he was wrong. But too many people paid the price. Too many people killed without a second thought. Families ripped apart, loved ones alone to face a lifetime without their other half. So many shells just like her.

She had lost, just like everyone else but she lost everyone who had loved her since birth. Her parents once lived a happy life, full of love and laughter, but all that's gone now: their smiles, the sound of their laughter, the future memories, all gone. She watched it all with her own eyes, she was seconds away from saving them, and it's her fault that they're dead. She had this great idea of sending them to Australia to keep them safe, give them fake a identity, a fake life story thinking they would be safe but as the poem goes:

"Even the best laid schemes of Mice and Men gang aft agley" - plans always go wrong.

This was just one example of that. They were away, living in paradise, no memory of a daughter they once loved and cherished. All of that had gone. The death eaters were too clever. They figured it out. In an old cemetery on the outskirts of London, on to of the hill looking over a place they once called home was a grave which said:

Here lies Sarah Hermione Granger

Beloved Mother

And

John Hugo Granger

Beloved Father  
"If life has been lived through love,

Life has been successful"

She didn't just lose her parents; she lost Remus, Tonks, Cho Chang, and Denise Creevey. It was too much for her to deal with, so she didn't deal with it, she still isn't. After the war she went straight to work after doing her N.E.W.T.S in the summer after the war, just as her Mum and Dad would have wanted her to, she now works as in St. Mungos as a paediatric healer. She chose to work with children because they were innocent, they shouldn't have been touched by evil, and thankfully only a small handful of children came in because of the trauma the war placed upon them, but the numbers were decreasing thankfully.

To everyone around her she seemed fine, she smiled, she laughed, she engaged in conversation but no one seemed to notice that the happiness never reached her eyes, they were always dull, and they had lost their shine to them.

When alone she became her shell: she buried herself in guilt and suffering. She lived in her parent's old house, the house hasn't changed the slightest, the curtains remained the same, the wallpaper remained the same, even the positions of the cushions on the sofa remained the same. She wasn't coping, but nobody noticed. She was numb, the sound of her laugh sounded foreign to her, the passion and anger she once felt had since long gone. She was numb to her old self.

It seemed as if she was the only one still suffering. Harry and Ron had become aurors, Ginny had recently been accepted to play for the Holyhead Harpies, Fred and George had opened a second shop. Everyone seemed to be moving on. Why couldn't she?

Hermione Granger was only 21, yet she felt as if she had lived a lifetime and was looking for an escape. Her eyes had seen too much, her ears had heard too much, her body had felt too much pain, she had tasted too much blood, she had smelt too much death in her 21 years of life; too much for someone 100 years old, but yet it had happened but she had no escape. To end her life would be cowardly, she was a Gryffindor through and through, although she was hiding to everyone she battling her battles on her own, she was still protecting the ones she loved, she was still fighting but this time she was fighting in her own.

It had been two years since the war ended but the fear still existed. Everyone was still on guard, going out the house with their wands, travelling in daytime, staying with company so if something were to happen they were not alone. All children were in their house by the time the sky started to darken. Enchantments and charms were on each house. The war had ended, the good side won, people should be living their life in freedom but the fear was eating at everybody, not as much as it use to but everyone was still weary of each other.

But life was getting better. Diagon Alley had been rebuilt; Olivanders had been moved to the main street not far from the twin's shop. Robe shops, cauldron shops, sweet shops, cafes and pubs filled in the empty shops. All the buildings had been painted different colours to brighten the place up, music was played all day throughout the street, and cafes had tables outside to welcome busy shoppers. Knockturn Alley had been destroyed, it no longer existed. Now there was a huge park, a playground, muggle and wizard rides, lots of green grass, fountains, trees, flower patches, community vegetable patch, benches, it was cheerful, and enchantments had been placed around the playground so if someone fell they wouldn't hurt, they would fall slowly and land on the ground gently.

Things were improving, if only they improved for Hermione Granger. But the world doesn't stop turning, the sun doesn't stop rising. There is always tomorrow...

A/N: This chapter is a bit of an introductory. Things will improve. I hope you enjoyed it. This is a first more me writing depressive stuff, I usually do happy things. This is my second story but my first was Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione where this will be Draco/Hermione. A review would be very welcome, no matter what you have to say.

~Snitch-1996


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: thanks to FreeSpiritSeeker and NazChick, I'm glad you enjoyed the first chapter. So this chapter goes out to you guys!

The weeks went slowly for Hermione but no matter what she did she knew this day would come one again like it did every year, but for the past two years it had been one full of grieving, tears and sadness. Before that it was one of celebrating, a day full of memories. But hit this year. Today was July 31st. Sarah Hermione Grangers 45th birthday.

The day started like any other for Hermione. She woke up to a silent house to sun rays mocking her and her life. Getting up and showering, dressing in light blue trouser scrubs and a teddy pattern scrub top, her hair tamer than what it was in Hogwarts left down. She never looked in the mirror, afraid of what she would see. Dull skin, lifeless eyes, dark circles around each eye from nightmare ridden sleep night after night. Her teeth obviously white and straight, her parents were dentists; they would roll in their graves if she left her teeth go bad. Breakfast was a cup of strong black coffee to see her through the day and an apple and vitamin tablets, she didn't eat much these days but what she did it was healthy. Her house, which once was her parent's house, was bright and homey but lifeless at the same time.

She knew today was going to be a hard day its why she made sure she was working an extra long shift at St. Mungos, it was her way of thinking that if she tried to forget which day it was it would go quicker but no matter what she did it was always there, in the back of her head nagging at her, mocking her. But at the end of the day she would be a total mess. The tears will not stop flowing from her constant moist eyes, her nose would never stop running until she cried herself to sleep and awake to a soaking wet pillow and a monstrous headache in the morning. She avoided everyone on days like these, they were not allowed to see her weakness, she was a Gryffindor for merlin's sake, she had to deal with this.

Time was mocking her, she looked at the clock every 10 seconds but it never seemed to change, she couldn't go work early otherwise the Healer in charge would send her home early after she did the hours that asked so she tried to distract herself with a book. She had over an hour to kill. On the second storey of her home was an office which once belonged to her father before he gave it to her for her 16th birthday. When Hermione was home from school she spent endless hours reading, learning and writing not just homework or extra credit for school but her own personal book about a little girl who discovered a magical world, she was hoping to finish it and send it to a muggle publishers, but as fate would have it the war happened then losing her parents happened and she no longer wanted to write.

The office was fairly large, about the same size as her room. It was spacious yet homely, low key yet the furniture was antique. On one wall was a French window letting to bright sun stream its way through. Directly in front of the window was an antique dark brown almost black magohany desk which one belonged to her great grandfather who passed it on to her father who passed it on to her. She hoped one day she would have children of her own who would appreciate the desk enough to one day receive it. The floor was layered with a plush red carpet, a comfy armchair large enough for two to snuggle sat in the corner next to a small Victorian fireplace. On two whole walls were giant bookshelves stacked with books, different shapes, sizes, colours all added to the homeliness of the study. It had that musky old book smell, something Hermione loved. On the last wall was pictures, many many pictures of Hermione's life, her parents when they were younger and from where they first started dating, pictures of her mum pregnant with Hermione, places they've been, friends they once had. It was a wall full of the good times. But the good times where no more, at least not for them, maybe one day Hermione will get her happiness back but every wound needs time to heal.

She picked up a book from the pile next to the armchair, it was one of Hermione's favourite books, each page was filled with some kind of advise, a riddle to make you thinks, a chance to view the world in a different way. The book was Metamorphoses, but there was one line that jumped out to Hermione.

"Omnia mutantur, nihil interit (everything changes, nothing perishes)."  
― Ovid, _Metamorphoses_

Maybe that's the reason time suddenly sped up and as Hermione glanced at the small clock sitting on the desk she realised it was time to go to work. Once she grabbed her bag and stepped into the fiery green flames she landed in St. Mungos. Gone were her inner thoughts, she had to concentrate on her job, it was a good distraction and only a few time throughout the day of fixing broken bones, placing limbs where they're suppose to be, healing fevers and sending children home did the thought of her mother pop into her head.

She was glad for the distraction but unfortunately it came to an end, she had to leave but she didn't feel like going home to an empty house just to break down and cry so she decided to take a short walk through muggle London and go towards the park where Knockturn Alley used to be. The park was called Justice Place but everyone just called it the park.

It was darkening outside in muggle London, commuters walked briskly back and forth toward their respected homes or to the local pubs, clubs or bars. It was Friday and people were letting their hair down after a long nine till five week. She didn't look odd out, she looked like any child nurse so no one stared at her, only gave her slight nods as she walked passed.

The Leaky Cauldron was fairly busy this Friday night, she was greeted by many faces saying a polite nod and an drunken old wizard by the looks of it in shrivelled robes wolf whistling as she walked pass which actually put a faint smile on her face. She said a quick hello to Tom but continued walking. Grey clouds were rolling in with the promise of rain, a lot of rain by the colour of the clouds.

As she reached the gate of the park she noticed it was empty, perfect peace and quiet to help her think and to cry alone. Of course all the children were tucked away safely in their home, their parents eyes watching them. She neared one of the benches and that was next to the fountain. The fountain had a slight glow to it so even in darkness your surroundings were viewable.

The rain started falling lightly at the beginning but soon she was sitting under the heaviest rainfall London had seen in weeks with it being an unusual sunny and warm summer. Rain hit the ground hard, bouncing off any surface. Hermione was soaked through but she couldn't feel the rain from the numbness that had overtook her. The rain only matched the way Hermione was feeling. She knew she had to stop doing this to herself but she couldn't. She didn't know how. She felt guilty whenever she laughed, smiled, made a new treasured memory, it's why she distanced herself from everyone but not enough for anyone to suspect anything.

Her mum was everything to her. Her nurse, her teacher, her best friend, her comfort, a person to talk to no matter what the problem was, she was her rock, her childhood friends, her game player, her story teller. Hermione felt lost without her mum telling her what to do, where to go. She just needed to see her one last time, and the only way that could happen was the Resurrection Stone but Harry lost that in the Forbidden Forest two years ago, but Hermione knew if she had the stone she would never be able to let it go.

She was so lost in her own thought she didn't notice how the rain had stopped falling on her shoulders and face until a deep cough brought her out from her state.

"Are you ok? You're going to catch your death sitting out here" said the deep husky voice. Hermione looked up. Even in the darkness that surrounded them she could tell the man in front of her was tall, about 6ft, he had a strong jaw and smooth complexion. As her eyes continued to travel up this mans face she stopped. Her eyes widened. She'd seen those eyes before. They were unforgettable, deep silver orbs with slight flecks of light blue.

"Malfoy" she whispered.

"Granger? What the hell are you doing out here in the pitch black sitting in the pouring rain soaking your bones through?" he nearly yelled.

"It's a hard day for me, I needed to numb myself" she said surprising herself with her honesty.

"Well it's not going to make your day any easier by sitting out here, come with me Granger, my flat no far from here, and take this" he said taking off his black trench coat and draping it over Hermione's soaked shoulders.

"Why are you being nice Malfoy?" she asked looking wearily at him.

"I've got no reason to be mean anymore" he answered giving her a small smile. "Come on Granger, if we stand here any longer I'm going to be as soaked as you."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: sorry or the delay. Introducing one fine looking Draco Malfoy.

The walk to Malfoy's flat wasn't long and it was held in silence. The rain was still poring but was lighter now than before. Night had set in fully now. The moon shone alone and proud. Thick clouds hid the magical stars. There was a storm on its way.

Hermione knew she would regret this in morning, sitting in the rain that is, she'll be full of flu; she could just imagine her mother shaking her head at her telling her it was all her own fault. As Hermione was deep in thought a memory crashed into the front of her mind.

*_Memory_*

_"Hermione darling, wake up sunshine, I made you some special soup to help you get better" said her mother's soothing, quite voice.  
_

_"Mummy, I don't like feeling icky" complained a young Hermione, her cheeks red, eyes puffy and quite sniffles._

"I know you don't but once you eat this special soup you'll feel so much better" Said the voice of her mother encouraging her to eat.

Hermione sniffed trying to breathe through her blocked nose but accepted the special soup.

"Mummy, can you read to me while I eat the special soup?" asked Hermione, her eyes begging.

"Of course darling, what book should we read today?"

"Something new" said Hermione excitedly.

"Something new eh, like the book Daddy bought you yesterday?" She said as she handed the wide eyed little girl a wrapped book.

Small Hermione ever the poised and mannered tire into the wrapping paper, nearly knocking the forgotten soup over.

"Cinderella!" squealed Hermione.

"Okay Hermione, eat up your soup and I'll read it too you, and once you finish your soup we can read it together"

Hermione nodded vigorously and ate her soup with gusto.

"Once upon a time..."  
  
*_end of memory_*

"Granger we're here, you sorta blanked out just then" said Draco opening the front door.

"Sorry" whispered Hermione.

Upon entering Hermione noticed the very simple flat which Draco lived in. Not the extravagant, rich and luxurious place Hermione was expecting.

"I stay here whenever I have to work in the city, only a few days a month so that's why it's simple, it's for sleeping nothing else" he said as if reading her thoughts.

"Your shivering Granger, one moment" he said as he left into the door on the left. Hermione didn't realise she was shivering, everything was numb like it always was on this day. It surprised her how much worse she was on the birthday of her mother in comparison to the birthday of her father. She loved her father, he was her protector, someone to keep away the monsters and make the voices in her story books, but her mother was he everything. Simple as, and as she lost her mother, she lost her everything.

"In there there's some clothes on the bed, get changed into them and I'll dry your clothes" said Draco in a matter of fact tone. Hermione just nodded and did what he said, no energy to disagree. 

Inside the room was a simple double bed, simple wardrobe and a door leading off to a simple en suite. The walls were painted a light grey with green bedding. Slytherin of course. On the bed was a pair of grey sweatpants and a dark green t-shirt. It was obvious they were too big for Hermione but well worn by Draco.

Upon re-entering she found Draco sitting on the Green fabric sofa in front of a life roaring fire holding two mugs.

"Tea or Coffee?" he asked holding up the mugs.

"Tea please, coffee keeps me up at night" she said as she graciously accepted the hot steaming mug of tea.

"You can sit down you know, I won't bite" Hermione looked at him wearily before accepting his offer and sat down the other side of him against the armrest. She lifted her knees up and curled up into a ball. The silence engulfed them both staring at different things. Hermione staring at the steam drifting out of the mug. Draco staring at Hermione intensely.

"What were you doing out there Granger?" asked Draco breaking the silence.

"Thinking" she whispered.

"In the rain?" he asked bewildered.

"I just needed to think, be alone" she said even quieter.

"You can think and be alone in your own home Granger, it's better that thinking and being alone in the pouring rain soaking you through to the bone"

"Anywhere is better than home" she said shaking her head.

"Why's that?"

"It' her birthday but there not there"

"Who's not there? Who's birthday?" he asked, trying to make sense of it.

"My parents. It's my mum's birthday today, and she's not here." tears were filling her eyes now.

"Granger I'm lost, why aren't they there?"

"They're dead. They've gone and they're never coming back. They were my everything!" she couldn't stop the tears by now. They were like a river, never stopping, always flowing.

"How long since they died?" he asked softly.

"Since the war"

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" he asked shocked.

"It was never the right time. We had a war to win, Hogwarts to re-build, Summer exams, work, everyone was moving on, I didn't want to ruin their happiness"

"Granger, you can't do this to yourself"

"I don't know how to not do it to myself" she whispered so quietly he could only just hear her. He gripped her free hand and looked into her sternly.

"Their life might have stopped Granger but it doesn't mean that you have to stop yours" he said gently trying to make her see sense.

"I haven't stopped" she said defensively, crossing her arms.

"Working whenever you can and sticking a false smile doesn't sound like a person who's living"

"You don't know anything!"

"I know your parents wouldn't want you to carry on like this"

"How would you know?"

"Because I know that my mother wouldn't want that for me, she'd want me to take over the family business, travel, settle down and have a family, which is what I'm going to do, but most of all she would want me to be happy"

"Where is she now?" Hermione asked carefully.

"She's dead, she died protecting me from death eaters who decided to come and teach us a lesson on what happens when you turn your back on the Dark Lord"

"Voldemort, you mean?"

"Pardon?" Draco asked confused.

"Fear of the name only increases fear of the person. His name is, or was rather Voldemort, he doesn't deserve the title of a Lord"

They sat in silence for a while, staring at the flames dancing wildly in the fireplace.

"You have to stop living in grief Granger, it's the only way you can move on"

"I can't" she said, barley above a whisper.

"Why not?"

"Because it's my fault."

"How in the world did you figure that one out, for someone's who's suppose to be the brightest witch of our age your-"

"No, listen." She took a deep breath and set the cup on the coffee table.

"I knew they were there, watching. I knew it for Merlin's sake yet I still made the stupid decision, thinking I was being all clever but actually I was practically giving my parents to them"

A/N: Review! 


End file.
